Worse with Words.

• Thor: GREETINGS, I JUST BECAME ACQUAINTED WITH THEE
• Thor: AND THIS IS OUTSIDE THE REALM OF SANE CONDUCT
• Thor: BUT HERE IS THE CODE NUMBER FOR MY COMMUNICATIONS DEVICE
• Thor: THOUGH I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE

capitoltech:

This is how I comfort people. 

(Source: hotwaterandmilk)

vondell-swain:

the intro to justin bieber’s “boyfriend” has been stuck in my head for TWELVE HOURS now

justin wont stop whispering into my ears

hes got a lot of money that hed really like to blow

swag swag swag

on me

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failbag:

buttsbutts:

itswhatilive4:

loveforllamas:

theepichumor:

Get it because it’s a CELL WALL

oh mY GOD

Saw this while I’m studying for a mammalian physiology test. Perfection.

mammals don’t have cell walls you’re going to fail

jesus

That hat still applies.

(Source: beccaweppner)

You have no idea what you’re dealing with. | Shakespeare in the park?

(Source: stonefieldbaby)

Sadiah’s coming Monday!

I am excite.

cuteboyswithcats:

tastefullyoffensive:

[video/via]

d’awwwww!

so cute! :3

i wish my kitties gave me hugs. 

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(Source: atavus)

higgitusfiggitus:

Today my mom wasn’t home, so my eight year old sister asked me to set some words for her so she could write her daily sentences. I knew she did them every day, but I’ve never bothered to read them before.

My sister is a lot of things. She’s extremely smart, fairly quiet, and absolutely hilarious. But today I learned two new things about her:

a) my sister does not have a way with the written word

b) my sister is addicted to crack cocaine

I don’t know what the fuck she’s smoking but I want in on it sweet baby jesus I did not know what to do with myself while I was reading some of these

what is wrong with her

I don’t even understand what some of these mean

(things you should know: I am natalie, and her “silkys” are two little silk & velveteen blankets she’s slept with since she was born.)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HELLO? PETERS- HELLO? HELLO! PETERSON?

PETERSON, ARE YOU STILL THERE? HELLO?

I’M SORRY. I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS ‘JAWBONE’ THING WORKS. HELL, IF WE’RE BEING HONEST I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BLUETOOTH IS, BUT THE GIRL IN THE COMMERCIAL WAS SUPER CUTE SO I PUT IT ON THE EXPENSE ACCOUNT. DON’T PUT THAT IN THE REPORT. DON’T PUT ANYTHING IN THE REPORT. I’M COMING INTO THE OFFICE, I’LL WRITE IT MYSELF. 

ARE YOU STILL THERE?  

PETERSON, SAY SOMETHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.

PETERSON?

HELLO!

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explodingdog:

Crazy Monster wants to party!

I am Crazy Monster.

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I had to.  (Taken with instagram)